GRAN CAFFÈ GAMBRINUS, VIA CHIAIA 1, 80121 NAPOLI

Rating: Standard, mid range Neapolian coffee

So yeah, I had to stop at the Gran Caffè Gambrinus. It’s a flagship of well... Naples, just like the mythical Sant’Eustachio is for Rome. And in my opinion, both are over hyped, over inflated, and whatnot. But Gambrinus’ interior is beautiful if you’re into the late 19th century heavy decor. Hell, if you’re not into it, you should not be in Naples as it’s a place cluttered with the past and a vibrant neo barroque aesthetic that is still thriving. Those who’ve seen the Italian TV special on Italy’s coffee culture (Rai Tre Report) will know that the SCAE member Andrej Godina gave it a bad grade. And with good reason, coffee here is utter bitter as hell, as I’ve been reporting. Nothing of what it could be had it been cared for differently. So without more ado, let’s give a go…. When I walked in, it was packed as it usually probably is. All tourists, and some Italians for spice.

After paying and putting my receipt on the counter this is what I got:

Presentation: Ok, so I got a nice cup of water with it. Good sporting here. Then I also got a sugar with it already. The cup was nice, baroque, and quite new. I’m sure they have a lot of stolen cups, so there’s probably a good turnaround of them.

Temperature of Cup: Holy cow. Simple as that. Boiling, yes, booooiiiilllinng hot cup. And well.. no wonder, there they are, the cups in the boiling water all nice and white form the temperature of the ceramic! Man, this was the top of the top of boiling cups! I had to wait a good 5 minutes before I could even put my fingers on it!

Quantity: Very short shot. I was happy. It was a cup that was bigger in the picture than in reality. Very thick also, so the shot was quite small.

Temperature: Well, still very hot…

Volume/Consistency: It was thick, sludgy, sandy, powdery, cruddy, muddy tar feeling. Yet somehow rich and creamy.

Crema: It was dark, pitch black almost and cakey on one end, and it started to disappear almost immediately as it clung to the sides of the cup.

Odor: Dark petroleum roasted coffee, another deep shiver went down my back!

Taste: Now, yeah, this is what we know will be, it was pure bitterness, and deeply bitter. It was flat in taste, no perspectives to give a hint of other flavors and almost bordered on rancid but actually didn’t get there. It was simply like sticking wet coffee powder in your mouth, it was so intense.

Overall: It was an experience for sure. I won’t say it was really good, but its thickness and ooziness made it distinct, and this is what Neapolitans like, punch you in the face, kick you in the ass coffee that with sugar, as it’s served, should provide a rich kickstart to whatever activity it is you’re doing, be it racketeering, mafia, chilling or being a tourist. Fun!

The setup: They had what else but a La San Marco lever machine. The grinder I couldn’t see, but I’m sure it was a Mazzer. And the coffee, seemed to be a special Moreno Caffè made for Gambrinus if I’m not mistaken. But I didn’t ask this time, as well, it’s Gambrinus and that should be enough for those going in there.